I want a new life. I want to run away and hide from my reality. I just spent the last 2 1/2 hours at a friend’s house using their Internet because ours is so painfully slow due to over usage on our bandwidth, and Darien needed to do his online schoolwork. I left my other kids to take care of the one kid. In all that time, he got one computer lesson done and he wrote 2 paragraphs of an essay. It was getting late, and we needed to let our friends have the privacy of their home back. I told Darien to back up his paragraph, copy and paste it to a new document, whatever it took to save it, before shutting down his computer. INSTEAD, he tried to just save the work online, but the Internet connection was giving him issues, and he ended up losing everything he wrote.
It wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t take this child an hour to write a paragraph. I’m so angry right now I can hardly see straight, and at the same time I just want to give up. He is NOT going to finish these classes in time. He has until august 3rd that is the deadline and the last day he can submit any work Maybe I should just accept that he will not finish. He needs 60 units to be considered a sophomore next year. He will have 54. If he could finish the computer class, he’d have 59, and that could get by. The problem is that I AM THE ONLY ONE STRESSING ABOUT THIS.
Sorry, rant coming…
I don’t want to be the only one that cares about his education.
I don’t want to be the only one home raising the children.
I don’t want to be the only one taking care of the dog business this summer.
I don’t want to be the only one taking care of the garden this summer.
I don’t want to be the only referee overseeing my children so they will help with all these things this summer.
I don’t want to be the only driver this summer.
I don’t want to be the only house keeper this summer.
I don’t want to be the only one noticing that the lawn needs to be mowed this summer.
I don’t want to be the only one noticing everything that needs to be done this summer.
I’m still sitting in my car writing this blog post. If I just sit here, I don’t have to face my reality I don’t want to go into my messy house. I don’t want to face my messy kitchen. I gave the other two children instructions to clean the kitchen while I was gone with Darien. I don’t want to have to come into the house and find that they didn’t do it, and listen to their excuses of “he/she didn’t do thus/such, and so I couldn’t do my part of the job.” I don’t want to have to be the only one thinking of consequences for lack of follow through.
I’m tired of having everything resting on my shoulders.
Maybe I’m too intense about everything. Maybe I need to “chill”. I just want my kid to get through high school, and then I want him to be able to get a job and support himself. That’s all. I don’t think it’s really very much to ask.
Thank you for listening.
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